The Weird Sign You're Perfect For Each Other

Forget a mutual love of How I Met Your Mother or your eerily similar workout playlists; new research suggests that there's a better way to determine if you're soul mates, and it has to do with the way you speak.People who use the same function words—like pronouns, prepositions, conjunctions, and quantifiers—are more likely to couple up and stay together, according to a new study published in the journal Psychological Science.

Researchers at Texas Tech University had a hunch that speech was related to romance (dirty talk aside), so they conducted two studies on language style matching (LSM). LSM measures how much two people in a conversation subtly match each other's speaking or writing style, focusing on words like "I," "she," "those," "in," "about," "tons," "never," "very," "quite," "while," "because," and "can," among others. And even though we hardly ever realize we're saying words like these, researchers say they reveal a lot about our personalities. 

For the first study, the researchers analyzed speed dates between 40 men and 40 women. Surprisingly, the people who used similar function words were more likely to report being into each other at the end of the date. In the second study, researchers analyzed instant message conversations between 86 couples, looking again at language patterns. They asked about relationship satisfaction on the first day, then checked in three months later to see if the couple had lasted. And get this: Couples who used more similar function words were about twice as likely to be together three months later.

A sexy, adventurous man may sound like a great date—but how do you know if he’d make a great partner? 

Ty Tashiro, Ph.D., author of the new book The Science of Happily Ever After: What Really Matters in the Quest for Enduring Love, considered dozens of studies on multiple personality traits in order to nail down the ones that often lead to successful relationships.

The next time you’re sizing someone up, these are the personality jackpots—and red flags—Tashiro says to watch out for:

He’s Not Only About Thrills
A new guy who’s spontaneous, fun, and a total adrenaline junkie has a trait called “novelty seeking,” says Tashiro. It’s awesome at the beginning of a relationship (see: super creative dates), but the problem with someone who’s addicted to constant thrills is that he also gets bored quickly. High novelty seekers are more likely to cheat, substance abuse—“all kinds of negative things that aren’t healthy for a relationship,” says Tashiro. Whereas someone who finds at least a certain degree of comfort in the routine is likely to be a better partner.

He’s Agreeable
Not in a “you’re always right” kind of way—this is someone who’s empathic, kind, and wants to try to see things from your perspective. “The opposite would be someone who’s mean,” says Tashiro. “Of course, in a romantic relationship, both people will have their ups and downs. You want somebody who’s going to be patient and understanding.” (Bonus: It follows that someone who wants to make you happy will try to make you happy in all scenarios—like in bed.)

He’s Not into Drama
The trait you want here is “emotional stability.” “You probably know some people who are just such an asset to have around,” says Tashiro. “If you have a bad day, they’re not going to get bent out of shape about it. If you’re in a stressful situation, they’re going to remain calm.” On the other end of the spectrum are people who are highly reactive. “They might take a comment or a gesture from their partner that’s actually neutral and see it in a way that they think is malicious or negative,” he says. Conflicts, both big and little, come up in any relationship—and it’s way easier to face them with a person who keeps a level head.

Clearly, there are some people out there who don’t fit squarely into all three of these categories but would still make great partners. The important thing to keep in mind: These personality traits all exist on a continuum—so while it would be almost impossible to find someone who’s at the far end of all three spectrums, you’ll still benefit from looking for a person who exhibits at least some tendencies toward each of these qualities.

To learn about more characteristics to look for in a potential match, check out The Science of Happily Ever After.

Shockingly, LSM was a better predictor of romantic interest and relationship stability than self-reports. Even if someone thought they meshed with a date or were convinced they'd stick with their partner forever, the LSM knew better. 

Obviously, this doesn't mean that you should start changing up your lingo during your next OkCupid date—you would probably sound ridiculous. (What are you going to do, keep saying "quite" for the rest of your life when you never used to?) But the researchers suggest we might already be subconsciously changing our speaking patterns to match someone else's when we're really engaged in the conversation, which could explain why it's so darn good at predicting a bond. Sure, it's a weird way to see if you might be a match—but it's definitely something to look out for on your next date. 

You like to think of yourself as “particular”—but others consider you a picky eater. Well, we have some bad news: Almost all singles say that they’re turned off when their date is a picky eater, according to a recent survey from Match.com.

The finding was part of the dating site’s annual Singles in America report, which surveyed more than 5,300 singles about their thoughts on dating. And get this: A full 95 percent of them said that it’s a pet peeve when someone is a picky eater. Find out what the rudest thing you can do on a first date is. 

Of course, you know there’s a difference between eating right and being a picky eater—but your date may not appreciate the distinction between the two. So if you’re concerned about sticking with your diet while dating, follow these tips for how to stay healthy when you’re with someone who eats crap.